Oh,
ck you really need more confidence! You made a great attempt. I have a couple of pointers that might help you, if you are trying to mimic the original poem (though you don't
have to mimic Mary Had A Little Lamb)
This type of poem is called a Rhymed Stanza. It consists of two or more lines arranged together as a unit. A stanza's group of lines is usually arranged around a recurring pattern of metrical length and sequence of rhyme. This structure is determined by the number of lines, the dominant meter, and the rhyme scheme.
In the case of Mary & Her Lamb, the following attributes exist in the original poem (and I didn't get the meter correct in a few spots myself)
Number of lines per stanza - 4 (We'll call them A, B, C and D)
The dominant meter (repeated in each stanza) is as follows:
A - Ma/ry / had / a / lit/tle / lamb = 7
B - It's / fleece / was / white / as / snow = 6
C - And / eve/ry/where / that / Ma/ry / went = 8
D - The / Lamb / was / sure / to / go = 6
The rhyme scheme is as follows:
A and C rhyme
B and D rhyme
I think that your poem is great as it is,
ck. If you want to flesh it out a bit, you can probably convert your poem into the Rhymed Stanza format used by the original author, but one of the wonderful things about poetry is that there are no set rules. (Well, there are rules for particular types of poetry, such as Limerick, Ode, Haiku, etc)
I posted a
Link in an earlier post that will help with rhymes.
I shared your poem with UncleSocial. He said that you have made a great start. He also said that no one who takes up ballet can expect to be Baryshnikov when they first put on dance shoes (okay, he has some very strange analogies ... ) I think the most important thing here,
ck, is that you made a try. A lot of people would say, "I can't write poetry" and that would be the end of it.