Post by NotWicked on Mar 29, 2004 12:26:53 GMT -5
1. At what age did you become an atheist?
My parents brought me up as a Lutheran. I was about 7 when I started doubting in "God" and thinking for myself. It took years however, to feel completely comfortable being an Atheist. I hoped for many years that I was wrong and searched for the REAL "Truth".
2. What flavor of religion were you indoctrinated to believe in prior to your deconversion?
I was baptized Lutheran and went to many churches up until I was in my teens. I questioned everything I saw and learned in church. In Sunday school, every week the group of us were asked if we were ready to "be saved", those who raised their hands were escorted out of the room to "be saved". After listening to Bible stories from Sunday School Teachers of "turning people into pillars of Salt, Plagues, great floods that killed thousands of people and innocent animals, cutting children in half and sacrifices on crosses, I was NOT sure I wanted to go where these other "saved" kids were going... it seemed to me that they never even came back.... I never raised my hand. In Sunday school we were taught about the things that "God" did to those who didn't TRULY believe... I had questions... I wasn't going to risk... "Being Saved".
3. What led you to eventually reject your religious beliefs?
I was 7 when my parents took my younger sister and I to a Hospital Home in Michigan where we visited two of my parents friend's children. Both girls were born horribly retarded and had to be strapped in wheel chairs to even sit up. One could not see, the other could not hear or see. They didn't know how to walk, talk, play or even chew food. They were well into their teens with all the physical characteristics of young women. Both had to wear diapers because they had no control over their bladders. These girls were literally "Vegetables". The parents of these children were some of the nicest people I have ever known. They spent their lives going to the hospital to visit their children EACH day of their lives until they died. When the girls were younger they lived at home, but as they grew older it was impossible to keep them at home and care for them properly. They would go to the "home" and brush their hair, bring new clothes, bathed them, brush their teeth, clean their ears, clip their nails....and just spend time with them reading, touching and loving them. The Parents never went on a vacation or had a week end off. They were told by their "church" that the girls were gifts from God.... and that they should be proud that they were parents and should have MORE babies. Thank goodness they did not! ( They were Catholic. Later in life, I found out that the father of these children was a product of first cousins, and it was his genes that made the children that way. )
When I walked into this "home" I was met by children with no legs, wheeling their way around the floor on small boards. There were kids in beds with no legs or arms. So many children grossly deformed. These ARE the children that you do NOT see at play grounds, but are hidden away from society. The children were STARVED for attention. They grabbed at my sister and I to play with them. These children were not injured, but were BORN this way! Most were left to the hospital because their parents did not WANT them! I was sickened to see all of this and realized how very lucky I was!
I had terrible night mares each night after I said my prayers by my bed. Always wondering what those children DID to deserve to be born like they were. Why didn't god help them? I could not get these images out of my head! Even today I think about those children... those poor children! As a child, praying by my bed, night after night for many years.... I would ask "God" why.... why would he do this to innocent children, do you not LOVE them??... I cried for them... I begged God to let them play and run and talk... my heart was VERY heavy with questions!! I just did NOT understand! As I grew older with none of my prayers answered, never asking for me... but for THEM... I knew there was not an all powerful "Loving" God that would let his "innocent children" suffer like that. And about the wonderful Parents these people were too... how THEY suffered all their lives, not ever knowing how it was to have children that were healthy. There really isn't a week that goes by, even after 40 years... that I haven't wondered what ever became of those poor children.
This was only ONE thing that happened in my life to shift me towards Atheism.... there are many more DEEP impacts!
4. Where did you find out about Atheists Anonymous?
Surfing... looking for some place to finally get all my feelings out. I have had only my sister and my father, who also has shifted over to Atheistism to talk to. It is a hard life when you have to be quiet among the good, loving Christians of the world. Those that will turn on you in a split second the moment they find out you do not believe in "their god". It is most certain that they will perish in hell for associating with a "demonic Atheist"!
My parents brought me up as a Lutheran. I was about 7 when I started doubting in "God" and thinking for myself. It took years however, to feel completely comfortable being an Atheist. I hoped for many years that I was wrong and searched for the REAL "Truth".
2. What flavor of religion were you indoctrinated to believe in prior to your deconversion?
I was baptized Lutheran and went to many churches up until I was in my teens. I questioned everything I saw and learned in church. In Sunday school, every week the group of us were asked if we were ready to "be saved", those who raised their hands were escorted out of the room to "be saved". After listening to Bible stories from Sunday School Teachers of "turning people into pillars of Salt, Plagues, great floods that killed thousands of people and innocent animals, cutting children in half and sacrifices on crosses, I was NOT sure I wanted to go where these other "saved" kids were going... it seemed to me that they never even came back.... I never raised my hand. In Sunday school we were taught about the things that "God" did to those who didn't TRULY believe... I had questions... I wasn't going to risk... "Being Saved".
3. What led you to eventually reject your religious beliefs?
I was 7 when my parents took my younger sister and I to a Hospital Home in Michigan where we visited two of my parents friend's children. Both girls were born horribly retarded and had to be strapped in wheel chairs to even sit up. One could not see, the other could not hear or see. They didn't know how to walk, talk, play or even chew food. They were well into their teens with all the physical characteristics of young women. Both had to wear diapers because they had no control over their bladders. These girls were literally "Vegetables". The parents of these children were some of the nicest people I have ever known. They spent their lives going to the hospital to visit their children EACH day of their lives until they died. When the girls were younger they lived at home, but as they grew older it was impossible to keep them at home and care for them properly. They would go to the "home" and brush their hair, bring new clothes, bathed them, brush their teeth, clean their ears, clip their nails....and just spend time with them reading, touching and loving them. The Parents never went on a vacation or had a week end off. They were told by their "church" that the girls were gifts from God.... and that they should be proud that they were parents and should have MORE babies. Thank goodness they did not! ( They were Catholic. Later in life, I found out that the father of these children was a product of first cousins, and it was his genes that made the children that way. )
When I walked into this "home" I was met by children with no legs, wheeling their way around the floor on small boards. There were kids in beds with no legs or arms. So many children grossly deformed. These ARE the children that you do NOT see at play grounds, but are hidden away from society. The children were STARVED for attention. They grabbed at my sister and I to play with them. These children were not injured, but were BORN this way! Most were left to the hospital because their parents did not WANT them! I was sickened to see all of this and realized how very lucky I was!
I had terrible night mares each night after I said my prayers by my bed. Always wondering what those children DID to deserve to be born like they were. Why didn't god help them? I could not get these images out of my head! Even today I think about those children... those poor children! As a child, praying by my bed, night after night for many years.... I would ask "God" why.... why would he do this to innocent children, do you not LOVE them??... I cried for them... I begged God to let them play and run and talk... my heart was VERY heavy with questions!! I just did NOT understand! As I grew older with none of my prayers answered, never asking for me... but for THEM... I knew there was not an all powerful "Loving" God that would let his "innocent children" suffer like that. And about the wonderful Parents these people were too... how THEY suffered all their lives, not ever knowing how it was to have children that were healthy. There really isn't a week that goes by, even after 40 years... that I haven't wondered what ever became of those poor children.
This was only ONE thing that happened in my life to shift me towards Atheism.... there are many more DEEP impacts!
4. Where did you find out about Atheists Anonymous?
Surfing... looking for some place to finally get all my feelings out. I have had only my sister and my father, who also has shifted over to Atheistism to talk to. It is a hard life when you have to be quiet among the good, loving Christians of the world. Those that will turn on you in a split second the moment they find out you do not believe in "their god". It is most certain that they will perish in hell for associating with a "demonic Atheist"!
